More knackered after a weekend that had less alcohol and more sleep, than the last one that had the opposite? It didn't make sense at first.
Then I thought it must have to do with dealing with sister's, what now seems unavoidable, divorce. It felt like it escalated over a few days, and I wasn't really prepared or wasn't keeping the same pace, and so I don't know how to handle it. The surprising request from brother-in-law about a chat about the whole thing, added to the mental load. And then a sister using my flatmate to say that she wanted to know what we had talked about.
That was the final drop for Saturday. I took my dear friend Andrew's advice and left the flat before they got back. Almost ran out of it, looking back towards the bus stop as I got out on the street. Hurrying around the corner to see the toy friend just getting out of the car. And my head was too occupied with divorce mess, to take time and think if it was weird or not to see him again.
My sister called me when we had gotten to the first pub. Thinking she was going to try and get information out of me, I pressed her off. Not wanting to be used as some information gatherer, having each of them talk to me and then forward whatever I find out. No thanks. I just have a weird vibe about the whole thing. It feels so rushed, that everything has to happen now. Preferrably always the day before. And I honestly don't know what to think about it all, and I feel guilt over the fact that I somehow can't bring myself to want to give her massive support, whilst it feels like everyone else (read: her friends, including my flatmate), seems to think she's the one to feel most sorry for. Or maybe it is because I know that her husband doesn't have the same support from friends here that she has, and so she doesn't really need me.
I don't know.
Then I thought it must have to do with dealing with sister's, what now seems unavoidable, divorce. It felt like it escalated over a few days, and I wasn't really prepared or wasn't keeping the same pace, and so I don't know how to handle it. The surprising request from brother-in-law about a chat about the whole thing, added to the mental load. And then a sister using my flatmate to say that she wanted to know what we had talked about.
That was the final drop for Saturday. I took my dear friend Andrew's advice and left the flat before they got back. Almost ran out of it, looking back towards the bus stop as I got out on the street. Hurrying around the corner to see the toy friend just getting out of the car. And my head was too occupied with divorce mess, to take time and think if it was weird or not to see him again.
My sister called me when we had gotten to the first pub. Thinking she was going to try and get information out of me, I pressed her off. Not wanting to be used as some information gatherer, having each of them talk to me and then forward whatever I find out. No thanks. I just have a weird vibe about the whole thing. It feels so rushed, that everything has to happen now. Preferrably always the day before. And I honestly don't know what to think about it all, and I feel guilt over the fact that I somehow can't bring myself to want to give her massive support, whilst it feels like everyone else (read: her friends, including my flatmate), seems to think she's the one to feel most sorry for. Or maybe it is because I know that her husband doesn't have the same support from friends here that she has, and so she doesn't really need me.
I don't know.
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