Just like that

Sue came over to our corner. I thought she was after Andy. But she wasn't stopping at his desk, and she was looking at me.

Oh, I better take out my headphones. She was holding three 100 SEK notes in her hand. Asked if it was still valid money in Sweden. Yes, I said. How much is this in pounds then? Between 25 and 30 I said. And then she gave them to me, said something about pocket money for when I go to Sweden next.

I..? Wha...t? Where did you find them?

I didn't hear what she said. People were taking the mick all around me. But there I sat, with 300 SEK in my hand, not really sure what had just happened.

But Thursday is one kick-ass day so far. 13 days left till the Deftones gig. I think it's going to be absolutely heart stopping great.

Deftones happiness

Finally the day was here, when the tickets to the gig in London with Deftones was released.

I was walking back from the river in a slow pace, when I saw an email on my phone about the tickets. My pace was suddenly speeded up. It felt like I was miles away from the flat.

I ran up the stairs, straight to my laptop, power on, impatiently waiting (but blessing it for not being slow) for me to be able to click my way to happiness.

And when I had bought the tickets, I called Andrew, who I had already last week decided was going to come with me, but he didn't answer. I sent a text. I sent another one. And then I waited. Wanting to shout out the news to the world, but wanted to tell him first.

Finally I got a text saying "Call me". So I did. And I made his day. I made my day. And it's only two weeks. Two weeks from today, we're at the venue, waiting for this amazing band to come on and it will be the second time in 8 months that we will see them.

I'm tired now. All this excitement is tiring. But a happy tiredness. I even managed to let out a happy sigh, according to Mie.

2 weeks.

Dropping of names

Adam, the oh so talented discussion starter, threw the question of which actors are in our top ten at us.

He then quickly followed it up with answering it himself, Will Smith as the best one there is.

Noooooo. We all said. Or three of us. Paul wasn't there at the start, Dave is not in as usual, and Essa kept quiet.

("It's always the quiet ones" is the expression, what will Essa surprise us with?)

The challenge was on. At first we didn't seem to be able to come up with any names. That wasn't good. Then we gradually started dropping names like... nothing else. And by the end of it, I think we felt quite pleased. Proud of ourselves.

I'm thinking about running Tjejmilen in Stockholm in September. It's 6.2 miles. I've got guidelines of how to train to do it in 60 minutes.

Andrew. I will see you next Saturday. Maybe the sun will show it's lovely face for us then.

Home

Alabama Arkansas I do Love my Ma and Pa
But not as much as I do Love you
Holy Moly Me oh My your the apple of my eye
Girl aint never loved one like you
Man o Man your my best friend I scream it to the nothingness
that we got everything we need
Hot and Heavy pumpkin pie
Chocolate candy Jesus Christ
Aint nothin please me more than you

(Chorus)
Home, Let me come Home
Home is Whenever Im with you
Home, yes I am Home
Home is wherever Im with you

Lalalala Take me Home
Mama Im Coming Home

I follow you into the park, thru the jungle thru the dark
Girl aint never loved one like you
Moats and boats and Waterfalls, Alleyways and payphone calls
I been everywhere with you
Laugh until we think we'll die, barefoot on a summer night
never could be sweeter than with you

like its only you and me jade/ebes your somethin to see

(Chorus)

Lalalala take me home
Mama Im Comin Home

Jade, you remember that night you fell outa my window?
ya you came jumpin out after me
well, you were bleedin all over the place and I covered your ass with your dress and we went off to the hospital, you remember that?
ya
well there's somethin I never told you bout that night
what didnt you tell me?
well, while you were sitting in the back seat smokin a cigarrette you thought was gonna be your last, I was fallin deep, deep in love with you, and I never told you till just now!

(Chorus)

Home, let me come home, home is wherever Im with you
Home, yes I am Home home is whenever Im with you!

Alabama Arkansas I do love my Ma and Pa
Yes Home, yes ward! home is whenever Im with you!
Home is whenever Im with you.

- Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros

On the road together

Second week of being Byron's personal driver. Every morning and evening we get to know each other a little more.


Yesterday morning I didn't say many words. I was too tired, the tiredness held my tongue in a steady grip. Luckily, Byron was on the phone more than half the journey dealing with warehouse and office people not being able to get into the building. Uh oh. But before we arrived it had been solved, with Adam climbing the fence and getting in through the back door. And not back door as in the sex metaphor.

Three more days till the very much longed bank holiday weekend is here.

The weekend just gone with Tina was great. Fantastic. It feels good to have another Älmhult soul here. And she's coming with us to Roskilde. And she will be my travelling companion to Sweden before Roskilde, and then from Älmhult to Roskilde. And then from Roskilde to the UK. And she's coming to the midsummer celebration at my brother's place too. This is starting to look good. I mean real good.

Less than 2 months. Countdown has indeed started.

A shit covered squirrel

So the drama friend threw shit on the fan and texted me. She's been throwing shit on the fan for two weeks apparently, so not a one time thing. Hurra, hurra. But the shit haven't hit her boyfriend yet. Or no, it has. But it's still invisible.

I'm guessing she now wants advice on what to do. I will have to try hard to not raise my voice and ask how fucking stupid she is and why she can't go through life without drama. If it's not there "naturally", she needs to create it.

So... I managed to get five days of peace and quiet. But almost two months without her drama. It was a good run.

Bitten by inspiration

Whilst trying to crawl under my skin to seek warmth I was bitten by the inspiration bug.

I wanted to do everything, all at once. Now. Yesterday. Stick two fingers in the air and concentrate on ME. What I want to do.

Stop motion. Photography. Pens and paper. Glue and scissors. Give me all that NOW.

But my problem is time. It's constantly sliding through my fingers. Seconds, minutes and hours, they are slippery suckers.
I'm sure there's a way around it.

Still thinking I'm not that bothered, but something is causing me to wake up several times during the night. It's annoying.

The devil closed a door and knocked down a wall. And I think I need to get used to all that space now being available, even though things are still in a bit of a grey zone, but I'm trying my best to make it black and white. Because sometimes it would be nice if things were black and white.

And I've had enough of grey zones.

So there.

I... don't know

Towards the end of last week I finally was allowed on the path of knowledge. I was allowed into the loop. And it was what I expected, and I sent back an unexpected reply. But shame on you for assuming things.

And a decision about time out, fine by me, I need some peace and quiet. Expecting it to be a while. And not to get a X sent Sunday night at 11pm. Nothing more after that. So what the hell man?

Anyhoo and anyhow, I might be getting bored with it. I don't seem to be very bothered, so why keep on truckin'?

Enough of that, waste of keyboard pressing. Friday. Friday was fun. Fun. Fun. Fun. Fun. Fun to see amazing Andrew and then the wonderful Malvin and Martin. They are the sunshine of my life.

The day after I paid for those drinks in near sickness, and tiredness that had it's own wardrobe. I tried to catch up on sleep before going to Maidenhead. I didn't succeed to a satisfactory level. So I was tired for most of the evening, and sober. And being sober when everyone else are drunk works fine until they get more drunk and loud and talk about weird things. So I left before midnight, before my eyes would risk closing on the way home.

Sinday greeted me with blue sky and sunshine and I felt the most energetic I'd had all week. The day needed to be spent outside! Come on people! I dragged Mie and Kim out of their lazy states and we took the game Risk and refreshments with us, found an amazing spot in the park and sat in the sunshine, conquering country by country. Kim took over the whole world eventually, but it was fun. My Risk cherry was popped.

Rest of the Sinday was thai take away and watching Moon. Great film.

And now. A new week. For a Tuesday, it's been a really good day. No over time, no exhausted state, peace and quiet.

But Ida is missing on Skype. It's Tuesday. Skypedate. Where are you?

Late night disappointment

I don't like having worries thrown my way, asking for support and advice, make myself available to have a late text saying problem solved.

It leaves me with the worry about what was wrong, but not finding out what it was. It makes disappointed, and leaves me feeling stupid for making sure I was available to give support and listen.

Dash.

And it disrupted my sleep. I was trying to count sheep, but the sheep was stuck in thought traffic. Solid. All lanes. I tried music. Tried clearing the traffic, but somewhere in all the trying I must have fallen asleep, because I woke up, neck and back aching because I had decided to try and fall asleep on my stomach (it usually works, if I fall asleep before it begins to be uncomfortable).

It's Tuesday. No-fucking-way-yes-way-no-way Tuesday. And it's no-brainer music on Spotify and it's shutting the world out with headphones. Only Adam has managed to make me smile so far today.

Can't wait to go home.

The return of the... Jedhi

Three visits to Gatwick in as many weeks. First week picking up loved ones, second week; parking the car to go away with Sarah, third week; 28 hours in Copenhagen with the chef.


Guernsey was wonderful. Beautiful views, great atmosphere, great company, lots of walking, laughing, experiencing a German underground hospital and possibly the smallest chapel in the world, made of broken pieces of porcelain. I'm not a church/chapel fan, but this was something else. A promise made to return to this island, when it's summer.

Copenhagen. Which has been my one step away from home when travelling back for visits. But this time I was taking the train towards Copenhagen instead of over the bridge to Sweden. And my heart wanted to go on the train homehome if only so to be there for one hour. But the 28 hours spent there was still amazing. Amazing gig, and all the band members signed our tickets afterwards, and we made them feel mighty surprised and proud when we told them we had come all the way from London to see them. That was our sole purpose, the sightseeing just a bonus.

A bit tired now. Quite an early crawl out of bed. Moved to the sofa for crap telly and coffee. Eventually the sunshine and blue sky drew me outside. For a drink by the lock, with a company in thoughts. And here I am, expecting to see a new freak out happen.

Time will tell.