The soundtrack of me. Today. 11am-ish.

I'm trying to put together the soundtrack of today. The soundtrack that would reflect what I am today.

You know how you some days listen to lots of songs, and yet none of them manages to sooth the scratching sensation in your soul? No? Well that's a good explanation of how I feel some days. Those days no music I have is good enough. I can't find the relief of tension that I look for in the guitar solos, drums and lyrics. It makes me frickin frustrated.

I have a day like that today. Right now I'm trying out Metallica. A shuffle of the songs on Black Album, Master of Puppets, Load, Reload. Some songs come close to put a smoothing coating on me, but it's quickly replaced with... grains of sand? That scratches the surface. It's fuckin annoying.

I think I may have a little of that ever so lovely pms. The hormonal bitch that makes you question pretty much everything. That makes nothing seem right. That makes you feel things you don't really want to feel. But you know chocolate would satisfy that bitch. At least for 15 minutes or so.

Today I wish I was somewhere else. Maybe Somewhere Else on Koh Lanta. Or Koh Chang. I thought of Lion. That wonderful Cambodian-people-disliking dog. And Me. The chubby stubborn dog. Who just wanted someone to cuddle him. And I did. And he adopted me and Markus. Slept outside our bungalow. Got in trouble when he followed us into other dogs territories. Came looking for me when I sat on the beach night time.
Me, I miss you. I hope you're still sleeping outside Seven Eleven and chasing King Kong off the road.

The hunt for the perfect music continues.